This term we have been looking at ways to make our writing more interesting for the reader.
We have used the following criteria to guide us:
- Changing the word order of a sentence
- Using literary devices such as metaphor, simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia and personification
- Using specific verbs and adjectives
- Using show, don’t tell techniques
- Using different sentence beginnings and lengths
Here are some examples of my writing this term.
Show Don’t Tell - Emotions
The Three Emotions
Joy
Anger
Tired
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I was so joyful when I won the nobel prize
I am so angry with my mum
Yawn, works boring.
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My head was spinning my throat felt dry and scaly. I stepped up onto the stage to accept the nobel prize for most creative invention. My invention you ask it's a simulation for people to win their own nobel prize. Everybody wins.
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I ran down the hall to the front door to find my mum standing in the doorway.’Where do you think you’re going little missie. Why won’t you let me go to the cinema i’m not 15 you know. You know the rules, you can’t go out past 11 PM. Argh I storm up into my room and smash anything I can get my hands on. After everything is destroyed I turn my TV on and watch soap opera.
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I’m on my work computer on the 38th floor, in section H8
On hallway 75, in an office that is 1 metre by 1 metre. My eyes are baggy, my arms are droopy and I feel like a dead cat. I rest my sore head on my keyboard and nod off. What seems like 1 minute the janitor wakes me up to leave work. He says that i’ve been asleep for 13 hours!
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Writing to Music
Music Writing
My cheeks are cold and red, the hairs on arm stand and up on end. I’m climbing the himalayas; the highest mountain range in the world. We’re climbing the monstrous mountain range in search of the lost tomb of his highness mascall racklean III. If we find him we must take photographic evidence, but we can’t take the body because that would be extremely culturally insensitive. As I’m climbing I see a woven flag sticking out of the ground I try to get a closer look when I see a man frozen in the ice I say to myself ‘my jove this man must of been part of war party hundreds of years ago’. An avalanche must have buried them as they were marching to the war grounds. That's when I see the stone cow engraved in the icy wall of rock. I found it the tomb crying happily. I pull out a piece of dynamite and lighter.’This should do the trick’ I say. I light the piece of dynamite and through it at the wall I hear an explosion and wait a few seconds for the dust to settle I walk into the to discover nothing is there!
No no no no NO this can’t be right everything must of been stolen long ago.’Well then’ I say to
myself ‘back to the old drawing board’ I turn around and head back to my warm lab.
The Boy
The morning was bright and crisp I was strolling along when I saw a boy fiddling with his zipper with agitated facial expressions. I say to myself ‘I wonder if that boy needs some help, so I walk up to him and ask ‘excuse me but do you need some help I said in a calmed voice. Umm well…. It's just that my dog died yesterday and I really loved him. I could tell he was about to burst into tears because his eyes were welling up with tears. I try and make him feel better. Hey, I remember when I my dog died. I was really upset but then my parents got me a new dog. Were you happy then asked the boy. 
Yes I was, oh I didn’t catch your name. ‘It’s Timmothy’, and and what's your name? asked the boy. It's Isabella, Well Timothy don’t worry, soon you will get over it and probably have a new dog. If you do get upset just remember that your dog is in dog heaven and it can eat all the dog biscuits in the world. Ok I’ll try thanks Isabella, That's alright Timothy. Bye. Bye.
Viking Girl
Key Do Feel Think Look Say
The Troubling Twosome
#1
The day started like any other day the birds were chirping the men were hunting for food and people burnt down houses and the duc… “ AHHHHH!” said the girl “I had it up to here with people giving me these horrible HORRIBLE costumes! Why can’t people give me some normal clothes for once!” “But dear!” said mum “your father insists that you wear them and…” “I don’t care what dad thinks! I just want some clothes that you can actually WEAR!! And whats with the helmets!” “Well... it’s Tradition dear!” “You do know vikings never wore helmets with horns!” “Well it was the only thing I could find at the blacksmiths” “AHHHHHHH”said the girl “i’m going to my own kingdom (AKA her room) where I can wear jeans and smash bowls!”
#2
Her eyes were as dark as storm clouds her hair was a tumble and her lips were red hot.
No one knew what she wanted and probably never will, she stormed around the house demanding and ready for a fight. She silently steals her brothers viking costume ready to have a real knockout, ready for anything coming her way. Anger was her army, her gift for destruction. Stay clear of this girl because she will pull hair and bite arms and you won’t know what's coming till she has done her deed. 
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